“Friday” becomes the new ‘F-word’

Rebecca Black, the terrible teen-pop sensation that is sweeping the nation, is giving Friday a whole new reputation.

Thirteen-year-old Black just recently impressed the media with something they thought Miley Cyrus mastered years ago, terrible singing. The song “Friday,” was uploaded onto the video-sharing website also knows as Youtube and Black became a celebrity overnight. Unfortunately for Black, the outcome was worst than expected.

“The result of [Black’s] song was worse than everyone winning the lottery at the same time,” said music analysis Richard Marshall from the Research Institute of Fine Arts. “It’s like hearing babies cry, or a cry alarm going off in the middle of the night when the owner is on vacation. You get my point.”

Along with many other “haters,” Cherry Hill High School East Principal, Dr. Ron O’Schmeeza, and the East administrators have deliberately banned everything and anything having to do with Friday. According to O’Schmeeza, Friday must also now be referred to as the “F-word.”

Expecting utter chaos and upheaval, O’Schmeeza was pleased to admit that the parents, students and staff seemed extremely pleased with this decision.

“We have found that any student who believes otherwise, was quickly corrected by fellow classmates,” Said O’Schmeeza.

“I’m not one to give detention,” said environmental studies teacher, Mrs. Rina Row, “but, I gave a young girl detention yesterday because she kept repeatedly playing the video for the ‘F-word.’ The rest of the class applauded me after; I felt like a hero.”

Students and teachers alike now cringe at the sound of the “F-word” and O’Schmeeza has officially added the “Friday Rule” to the Student Code of Conduct, which will now appear in next year’s homework planners.

“It’s gonna stink for them Freshmeats at East next year when they sayin’ the ‘F-word,’ and all,” said East student, Marc Yacobi (‘11). “Hopes they likin’ detention!”

With Black’s “Friday” mess cleaned up, O’Schmeeza, the administrators, faculty, students, and parents alike all agree that if Black writes a song about any other day of the week, month, or year, it will be immediately be banned from the school before it invades the minds of East’s precious, young scholars.

No word on whether O’Schmeeza and the administrators have assembled their own band yet.