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The School Newspaper of Cherry Hill High School East

Eastside

The School Newspaper of Cherry Hill High School East

Eastside

The School Newspaper of Cherry Hill High School East

Eastside

Uncategorized

Seniors scuttle and tug their way to wins

With horns blaring and egos soaring, seniors left East’s parking lot after tonight’s triumph in both crab soccer and tug-of-war. The night began with crab soccer; the classes formed a square around half of the DiBart gym, with the seniors facing the sophomores and juniors facing the freshmen. Each person was given a number and would enter the square when his or her number was called. When a class received three outs, it was eliminated.

Milk chugging contest quenches Seniors’ thirst for victory

Raising their arms in triumph, the mighty Spartans of the milk-drinking competition chugged down their baby bottles in a ferocious battle of the classes. One girl and one boy representative from each grade was seated on a platform, where the girls squeezed milk out of pink and blue bottles into the mouths of their male counterparts. The catch: the boys, who were seated on the girls’ laps, could not touch the bottle. The first team to empty the bottle won the most points for their class.

Students face sweet competition in lemonade contest

With water pouring out of their mouths, and in some cases their noses, students weren’t too worried about messing up their fathers' ties on Non-Casual Friday. “This game is called ‘Make Lemonade,’” announced Mr. Davis. “But we’re not going to make lemonade in any style you’ve ever seen before.” The competition consisted of four contestants, one from each grade level, competing to “make lemonade” in the fastest time possible. Contestants had to eat two lemon wedges, wolf down two spoonfuls of sugar, gulp down two cups of water and mix it all up with five jumping jacks.

Texas Instruments releases revolutionary TI-97

Texas Instruments has just released a prototype for its latest addition to the TI series of graphing calculators. The TI-97 will be available in stores on September 7, and comes equipped with more bells and whistles than the company could fit in the 978-page instruction manual. For a comprehensive description of the calculator’s capabilities, users must reference the 3-volume instructional VHS which runs about 11.5 hours long, and is also available in Beta-max format. A few features of the TI-97 include 4-D and 5-D graphing abilities; full-color touch screen; biometric user identification; light up keypad; padded leather carrying case with key, combination lock, and security alarm; military database; world clock; day-planner; GPS tracking-device; and the snake game.

School mandates backpacks to fight scoliosis

Starting this September, East will be implementing a new policy requiring all students to carry backpacks. Due to the increased usage of tote bags and messenger bags, there has been a dramatic increase in scoliosis cases among students, which has aroused concern among parents and faculty members who advocate the policy. According to the National Scoliosis Foundation, scoliosis, the condition of sideways curvature of the spine, affects two to three percent of the population, or roughly 6 million people in the United States. “The primary onset age for scoliosis is from 10 to 15,” says Dr. Bert Vertabrake of the American Chiropractic Association, “so high school and middle school students are extremely vulnerable.”

“Dancing with the Czars” in the works

The ABC network has recently unveiled plans for a new show, Dancing with the Czars, to be aired in October. The show is to be a spin-off of the network’s earlier success, Dancing with the Stars. “With the popularity of Dancing with the Stars,” said ABC spokesman Alex Roman in a press conference on Tuesday, “it was only a matter of time before we had to make another show. I mean, who doesn’t just love watching people spin around for an hour and a half? We just combined the excitement of ballroom dancing with the raw executive power of the Russian czars, and bang! Dancing with the Czars was born!” The Soviet rock band Gorky Park is suing ABC for copyright infringement as a result of Roman’s use of the word “bang,” claiming that it is identical to the title of their hit song, “Bang.”