Replace “because” with “the particular reason for this circumstance is…” and “this means” with “this actively demonstrates that…”
These both come up as suggestions when you google “how to make an essay longer” – the most-searched phrase related to essay writing on the internet. Naturally, it’s tempting to equate more or bigger words with greater depth of thought – with sounding “smarter.” Maximizing the word count – or stretching beyond it – flaunts an abundance of knowledge and gives more leeway to flex your wordsmithery. The more, the better, right?
False. Brevity is an infinitely more important writing skill than expansion, especially in the real world. Your future CEO will not appreciate reading through soliloquies in your reports; no, they’d want you to get straight to the point. Superfluous writing for the sake of (pseudo) intellectualism bloats the real meat of whatever point needs to be made and is characteristic of bad, juvenile writing. The ability to pare down your analysis — establishing a clear line of thought without overexplaining yourself – is an invaluable skill that needs to be drilled in at the high school level, and solidifies why word limits should be mandated for all assignments. Unnaturally academic language often sacrifices clarity, and we should not encourage students to grasp at straws to add words with no real purpose.
I have personally victimized an English teacher with the most overblown, unnecessarily deep analysis of “To Kill a Mockingbird” in freshman year, when I ignored the suggested page limit of three, and instead wrote 11. Beyond just wasting Mrs. Cooney’s time, I realized that having more to say didn’t mean I was more knowledgeable of the book; it meant that I lacked the ability to identify what was actually important and how to express that. For most of us, if writing still plays a role in our adult lives, nobody will care for obnoxiously scholarly language unless you plan on being a touring poet. Employable lawyers, web developers, and copywriters make their work concise, and leaving word counts up to us won’t nurture the development of that skill.