“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
For as long as I can remember, the question hovered over every phase of my life. When I was a little kid, the answer to this big question came easily. A veterinarian, a cashier, Mom or Dad, a baker. Although my answer changed constantly, one thing remained unchanged: I wanted to be an adult. A grown-up had the freedom to do whatever their heart desired after all, whether it be watching any TV show they wanted for hours on end or eating ice cream for every meal.
At each stage of growing up, I was always looking forward to the next phase. As a kindergartner, I eagerly anticipated elementary school; in middle school, I couldn’t wait until I was a high schooler; and in high school, I dreamed of finally going to college. I moved through them impatiently, fully convinced the next stage would be where life really began.
Somewhere along the way, however, the question started becoming more serious. By the time college application season arrived, the once lighthearted “What do you want to be when you grow up?” carried a heavier weight. The pressure of finding a definite answer only heightened as I drafted personal statements, supplemental essays and activity lists. Suddenly, I had to prove that I had spent my time wisely, turning the last few years of my life into something measurable and meaningful, as if every choice I’d made had been culminating toward a goal I didn’t even know I had.
Yet, amid the excruciating stress and deadlines, I found something unexpected in the process. College applications offered me an opportunity to reflect on my life in a way I hadn’t before. Writing essay after essay, I was forced to look back on how I had spent my time, what had made me curious, what challenges had shaped me and what formative moments had changed me. In those moments, reflection became unavoidable.
College applications, despite all their pressure and expectation, invite students to look back on how far they’ve come and deeply consider where they might want to go next, as they enter a new phase of their life, even if that next stage is unclear. In doing so, college applications felt more like a nudge to think about who you already are and who you might become, rather than a demand to figure out exactly what you want to be when you grow up. You don’t need to find your purpose in life yet or decide how you want to spend the rest of your life at the age of seventeen.
And for me, even after all that reflection, I still have no idea what I want to be, but the truth is, I don’t need a definitive answer right now.
