What makes me unique?


Courtesy a la Nafessa's Instagram

“Yee FRACKIN Haw” makes an appearance featuring the great DJChocolateyEclaire.

What makes me unique is simple; I am the only one applying for the managing editor position that can do this (post on Eastside Online about my uniqueness).

In my eyes, that logic alone is sufficient, but since I suppose you are looking for a bit more content I will also provide a poem.

Now this is no ordinary poem. In fact, this is a poem much like the ones I would write for my mom on mother’s day back when I was a kid. I would write out the word M-O-T-H-E-R and for each letter I would come up with one reason why she is great. And although I created a new one every year, they usually all ended up sounding like this:

M: Magnificient
O: Out of this World/Outstanding (The adjective would change depending on my mood that day)
T: Terrific
E: Excellent
R: Reliable

(Side Note: I knew a lot of synonyms back when I was a kid, or at least I knew how to use a Thesaurus)

Now the real question is why did I choose to write one of these when I could’ve chosen to write something a lot more artful, perhaps a haiku or a Shakespearean poem with the fancy iambic pentagonmeter thing? The answer lies in the fact that I am a kid at heart and will continue to do unnecessarily cringeworthy things. So let’s get started, shall we?

N: needs to learn how to keep her calm
A: Absolutely Awesome at Alliterating
F: FRACKING crazy (at times)  [Side Note: The term “fracking” as used here is not in reference to the process of injecting liquid at high pressure into subterranean rocks, boreholes, etc., so as to force open existing fissures and extract oil or gas. Rather, it is a catchphrase that Nafessa is known for using. To see an example of this mighty word in action, please direct your eyeballs to the top left side of the screen]
E: Excited by the prospect of being Eastside’s next Managing Editor
S: Secretly thought the term “doubletruck” was Eastside slang for the truck on which the issues arrive (In my defense the context was pretty confusing. Try hearing “The doubletruck is doing great and should be done by tomorrow morning.” Any new sophomore would be confused)
S: So sorry for being such a troll and hopes her random thoughts at 2:00 in the morning won’t interfere with the rest of her application 🙂
A: Always on the Eastside grind

ALSO NO FEAR RESPONSIBLE EDITORS IN CHIEF, MANAGING EDITOR AND GAGZ; This story is shielded from all eyes except your own courtesy of my magical webmastering skills.