“Chair Literacy” elicits many different responses from students

The school budget this year sees cuts made in the sciences and performing arts to offset a new freshman requirement: a full year lab class called “Chair Literacy.” The district put $10,000 toward purchasing numerous new seating implements for training. Another $70,000 went into the salaries of the four teachers who instruct each class. This investment aims to ensure that students know precisely how to operate the school’s world class seating devices. David Georgeson (‘16) feels optimistic about the change.     “Finally,” he said, “They’ll learn how to sit properly!”

New students are forbidden from operating seats outside of the class without a license earned by passing their final examination.“I was unaware that this was not already a policy,” Kyle Porfol (’15) said.

But some students were tragically uninformed about the reforms.“The strange thing is, I’m not even a freshman,” said Kev Ruso (‘15). Ruso received a ticket from campus police after an attempt to drive a chair desk up the down stairs last wednesday. “Since when are these tickets even a thing? I properly signaled my turns and whatnot. The Man just wants to write us up the minute we try going up the wrong staircase,” Ruso said, “I’ll protest it! We won’t take this sitting down.”

Other opinions of the new policy varied wildly between students. “I don’t know, I don’t see the point…” said Rebecca Lozen (’17). However, Benji Burgo said,“I think it’s beautiful…the idea brings tears to my eyes.”

The new policy is certainly unlikely to sit for long as it has added multiple complications to seating arrangements. The school district aims to resolve the problems that have come with the new class, but for now, everyone will have to sit and wait.