East’s Twilight Debate Club has expressed an interest in helping at the school’s Blood Drive this year, for reasons listed as “purely humanitarian”.

The Twilight Debate Club, or TDC, was founded earlier this year by fans of the popular Twilight book series in order to debate popular themes present in the novels. The series focuses heavily on a love relationship between a teenage vampire named Edward and a Forks, WA, girl named Bella. Despite allegations that the club only wishes to participate in the drive in order to handle real blood, the club still maintains its selfless claims.

“We really want to give back to, like, the community and stuff,” said club member Tara Pear (’12). “I really think that what they’re doing is delicious.”

Fellow classmates, however, are suspicious. Mark Joyfield (’09) had this to say: “Charity? You’ve got to be kidding me. With the amount of tomato juice they drink over at TDC, I’d be surprised if a few bags of blood didn’t disappear from the drive.”

The club will meet next Thursday to discuss preparations for the event. Some previous meetings of the club have dealt with topics such as: Jacob vs. Edward; Vampires vs. Werewolves; who is most similar to Bella; whose boyfriend is most similar to Edward; why Amy’s boyfriend is nothing like Edward; and the nutritional value of tomato juice.