School colors changed to white and off-white

Andrew Huff (’10)/Eastside Staff

 In an effort to reduce the school’s ever increasing budget and to make school spirit more chic, Cherry Hill East has modified its school colors from white and red to white and off-white.

Margaret Wilsonson, the school board spokeswoman, said, “Honestly, the school is so drab and hideous because of the colors, mainly the red. The school board has received so many complaints from parents asking to change the colors to something more fashionable.”

Courtesy of the ABC network’s new show “Extreme School Makeover,” over the holiday break the school will be given a makeover, “the equivalent of a few injections at the plastic surgeons office,” according the school board member James McHumphrey.

When students return in the new year, the colors of the school will be white and off-white, the only colors the school can afford.

The decision to choose these colors came from the input of Project Runway’s Heidi Plum and Tim Stunn in addition to a unanimous vote by the school board.  

The money saved by altering the school colors will be used to develop school-spirit socks to be sold for a profit.

While the makeover will cost upwards of two million dollars, East Principal Dr. Ron O’Breeza said, “By changing the colors of the school, not only will we be portraying the school as an institution of academics, but also of fashion sense. The students will see the new color scheme and realize that if their school can make a fashion statement, so can they.”

To coincide with the change in colors of the school, school sports uniforms, desks, signs, banners and lockers will all be changed to white and off-white.

To ensure that the color scheme will be up to date and precise, scientists will be brought in to analyze the colors, allowing for a subtle, yet not overpowering distinction between the white and off-white colors.

Similarly, color psychologists have been hired to prepare the students for the makeover.

One of the psychologists, Ellen Ticonderoga said, “Changes in color can really throw students off, especially the pairing of white and off-white. The combination creates, in some instances, a wave of joy at the similarity in shade, but also panic from the difficulty in discerning between the colors.”

With the new color scheme, Cherry Hill East hopes to not only save money, but begin a new standard of learning that gives students higher education, and higher standards of what it means to be in-style.