Student examines own eating habits (sort of)

The other day I was lounging on the couch eating a bag of potato chips while watching ‘Project Runway’ when a commercial for ‘Weight Watchers’ aired.  “Alexis lost 74 pounds and you can too,” Jennifer Hudson exclaimed as the commercial showed before and after pictures.

I never had a problem with my weight, but as I ate the fatty potato chips and licked my greasy fingers, I decided it was time for a change…once I finish the bag of chips.

I have always cared about my weight, not just because I am a fifteen-year-old chubby girl with a low self-esteem, but because I want to be healthy.  I always hear the saying, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.”  If people believed this maxim, there would be a McDonald’s on every block and Saladworks would not exist.  As delicious as a carrot stick sounds, I would much rather prefer the artery-clogging large fries and Big Mac and have Mila Kunis’ body.  But let’s face it, if I keep eating like this, the only celebrity body that I will have is Melissa McCarthy’s.

I always take vows to stop eating junk food and eat more fruits and vegetables, but when I I am watching TV and a commercial for Arby’s comes on, I have my coat on before the commercial ends.  One may say, just get rid of all of the junk food in your house and only treat yourself occasionally.  However, that is like telling Marilyn Monroe to stop being a bombshell; it is simply not possible.  As a fifteen-year-old girl, I need junk food–to carry out a balanced diet.  Maybe if I was not so hormonal or lazy, I would go to the gym and nourish my body, but instead I will just wait until I break the scale at the doctor’s office.

Many people gain weight in college, known as the Freshman Fifteen, but I would like to call it the Freshman, Sophomore, Junior and Senior Fifteen in high school and college.  As much as I would like to lose weight, the only way I am going to start is by going on “the Biggest Loser.”     It seems as if it is only socially acceptable to have a pair of jeans over the size of three when pregnant.  Luckily, as a girl, I have this ability and when I am older and married to a man who will chomp down on a large pepperoni pizza with me, I will get pregnant and scoff down on anything fried.

But as I wait for ‘Project Runway’ to come back on, I continue to munch on the potato chips and turn into a couch potato.  However, in twenty or seventy years, I will start eating healthier and eat a celery stick every so often.  But until then, I am going to devour my king size Hershey bar and my family size bag of potato chips.

But frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.