As a child, I always collected rubber ducks. A steady stream of doctor visits, carnivals and dentist treasure chests generously rewarded me with an ever-growing assortment of them. From my collection, a few standout rubber ducks include a hot pink duck with violently excessive cupcake frosting swirled onto its head, a gray robot duck with tiny antennae and a dark blue duck strewn with snowflakes. Then and now — regardless of how strange the habit is — I toss these ducks up and down while pacing around my house. Launching a duck ceiling-ward allows me to observe it weightlessly spin through the air, and in this moment, everything else shuts out. Tossing rubber ducks lets me return to childhood’s simplicity and summon my unguarded wonder. I know how ridiculous this sounds, but few other things in my life seemed to offer the sense of personal fulfillment gleaned from tossing rubber ducks. 

Upon entering F087, though, the joy of tossing rubber ducks instantly met its rival. Soon enough, Eastside monkeys would become a far more comforting animal than ducks. Being a part of Eastside has felt like a daily breath of fresh air.

Without Eastside, I never would have joined the ranks of the Boiskinist Church under Father Asher. I never would have almost been enlisted into the military by Enis and Matt. I never would have debated Rachna over the legitimacy of reverse racism. I never would have investigated the obvious collusion between Karina and Sophia in the Eastside Fantasy Football League, which I was ultimately robbed of winning. I never would have competed with Amelia over how many professional tennis players we could each rattle off, ultimately conceding that she knows far more about women’s tennis than I ever will. I never would have tried on clothes from Brandy Melville in Boston. I never would have been wrongfully accused of launching a water bottle at the ground, when it very clearly slipped and spilled due to my aggressively sweaty hands. I never would have been able to establish that swim, golf, bowling and dance are not actually sports via my self-written constitution. I never would have been crowned the AP Style Warrior. I never would have hit the quiz bowl buzzer before questions were asked and then, months later, replay videos of that performance before going to bed. I never would have gotten lost in Philadelphia with Stella, ultimately leading to “ISeeGotchaSigh.” I never would have discovered that I am objectively taller than Mason and have far more ball knowledge than him. I never would have yelled at Aitan, Mason and Zac for smearing my Nashville bed in red sauce, pepperoni and slices of pizza. I never would have taken the renowned Philadelphia convention photo in front of the green wall with Abby, Gabby, Jessie, Stella, Laavanya and Julia, which was never replicated in Nashville. 

In freshman year, I watched my uncle power up a makeshift gas chamber and slowly poison a family of thirty rats. I remember the smell of dung clinging to my clothes and my sister’s 2022 BTS music (couldn’t spare you the embarrassment – sorry, Lydia) blasting on our way home from the lab, suffusing the worst possible soundtrack for my identity crisis that ensued. 

I’m someone who craves predictability. I’ve planned my life to a tee since kindergarten. 

I picked out my future lake house (big white windows, a sun room, wrap-around balcony, peony bushes, and a frosted ivory porch swing) on Zillow in eighth grade. I started planning my wedding on Pinterest when I was thirteen. I’ve had a Princeton pennant above my bed since middle school.

Put nicely, I identify as a very, almost delusionally prepared person – someone who knows exactly what she wants and how she’ll get it. 

To describe this with more self-awareness, though, I am a complete control freak. I don’t like change. I can’t handle when life pokes holes in my preset vision of what the future should look like. 

So, you could imagine the mental warfare triggered by watching my uncle’s mouse genocide. It solidified that I was never going to work in medicine (a decade-long goal, that, knowing me now, feels laughable), that the hospital I envisioned myself spending adulthood in was, in reality, a sterile, dysoptic nightmare, and that for the first time – and arguably during one of the most important in my life, that being the onset of high school – I had absolutely no plan. 

Joining Eastside was the most fruitful product of my freshman hobby speedrunning (honorable mentions include interior design and badminton), and, in retrospect, the most transformative, happiest accident I couldn’t have ever “planned.” It taught me, more than anything, to let go of that desire for control.

I vividly remember how insecure I was both as a speaker (which, according to Landon, I do still need to work on), and more importantly, as a writer. The first bit of encouragement I’ve ever gotten about my writing was for a Journalism I opinions story that Gagz eerily requested to speak to me about before school. It seems silly to say now, but without that tiny bit of reassurance, I don’t think I would have developed the same confidence as a writer – the confidence that pushed me to embrace what once felt like a “childish” hobby, creative writing, and that ultimately led me to discover a lifelong passion for literature and storytelling (far-cry from the surgeon Pinterest board I GLADLY deleted). 

Without Gia telling me to apply for Features, I would never have (foremost, undergone the character development that came with working alongside Matthew Berkery or) pushed myself to interview people I wouldn’t have otherwise spoken to. From being the most reserved person in any room (though I do miss being #mysterious) to being one of the most talkative (Gabby’s taking the cake for F087, however; I stand in awe), Eastside has pushed me out of my shell in ways I couldn’t have imagined. 

All this to say that the best things – the most important things – to ever happen, I’ve learned, are likely going to be forced upon you:

Eastside homeroom after Dr. Perry’s reign (what my friends call my “exile to F-wing,” though I wouldn’t have it any other way) has brought me closer to people I would never have expected to become such cherished and pivotal figures in my life – people who have indelibly changed me for the better. 

Taking D-block journalism during my existential spiral was one of the best decisions of my adolescent life, and the one that has single-handedly paved the path toward my future endeavors. 

And, not to turn the pretentiousness meter up too high, but there’s a Charles Bukowski quote that, analogous to the current stage of my life, I’ve thought about lately: “When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and you can do whatever you want… What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?” 

At times, amid all the angst and stress that come with being an uncommitted loser (sorry, juniors), I’ve found it easy to associate Eastside with “work.”

Indeed, for the past four years, I’ve been, in the most dramatic way I can describe it, afflicted with a persistent sense of captivity. Getting into college was the only key out – the only way I’d let myself fully enjoy life. I idealized the position I stand in now.

But, with all the senioritis-laden freedom in the world, I find myself reaching for the once stressful anchors that draw me back here. I’ll miss my 4:30 a.m. alarm on our (short-lived, lol) print distribution days. I’ll miss me, Gabby, and Landon arguing about which sections we’ll get to run, and Dino spamming the leadership group chat about his website design. There’s a particular loneliness in knowing that, in a few months, Nico won’t be in F087 every day 6 to contemplate skipping Symphony with me, and that I won’t be able to hear Chloe’s laughter from two hallways down.

To next year’s board members: you’ll naturally remember the big moments… Orlando convention, senior day, winning the Pacemaker (I believe in you all!), but in the midst of your high school restlessness, please make a conscious effort to remember the small things… homeroom conversations, stupid editorial ideas, rants in WhatsApp…

Because someday, and I’ll say this in my unnecessarily sappy fashion, you won’t remember the sound of Chloe’s cackle anymore or which way Landon parts his hair. Someday, you’ll only be left with vague outlines of people in your memories or camera roll – people who made you laugh until you couldn’t breathe or maybe even chuck a water bottle in rage. 

Whether it be through jokes I’ll shamelessly steal and retell, or WhatsApp stickers (thank you, Laav, for your supply) I’ll use to react to the Princetonian adviser’s AI songs, know that I’ll carry some piece of all of you into adulthood. And, although I HOPE I’m not “unc” enough to say this yet, I think I can speak for all of your future selves by saying you’ll be happy to have cherished those smaller moments – moments that, perhaps in unnoticeable ways, you’ll take with you and share with everyone you come across. 

Thank you, Eastside, for being my second home – for helping me become someone 13-year-old me never could’ve mapped out on a Pinterest board. Thank you for helping me get over my fear of monkeys after a brief Harambe-induced trauma fest, for sparing me 30 years of rat poop and of course, for giving me the best three years I could’ve ever asked for.

I have never been someone who has felt super connected with the spirit, or the lack thereof, at Cherry Hill East. I don’t know exactly why; maybe the fact that I just despise watching sports games, but nevertheless, I was never the person that would spend their Friday night decking out in black attire to go support East football. 

There is really only one room in this school where I feel a sense of true comfortability, as if I can walk around and play with the markers near the whiteboard and the desks as I wish. F087 to many, blends in as any other classroom. For me, F087 and Eastside have always been interchangeable. It is the room I walk into, and feel proud to stand there. 

F087 is special because it guarantees that no matter who you speak to in that classroom, you will learn something. Whether that is me bothering Elias to learn about what Korean food he is eating, watching Chloe, Nico and Amelia somehow figure out the daily crossword, or getting to explore the history of Christianity with Dino. I never truly expected to find a place of community in high school, and despite my stubbornness, I write this today with a bittersweet feeling because I know there is a place I will miss at Cherry Hill East.

Eastside gave me the opportunity to find my voice. It is one of the primary reasons I have the confidence in school that I do today, and feel that I am able to carry myself in intellectual conversations. While it has made me learn copious amounts of information about others and about topics in the world and journalism, it has also unexpectedly taught me a lot about myself. Being surrounded by such bright, creative people in A block and during lunch is what has made me learn how to differentiate myself as a person.

I am pretty sure my parents say a prayer thanking Gagz every single day for all he has done for me. It is extremely meaningful to be able to have a teacher that you can not just talk about school with, but also go back and forth on our opinions on everything. The editors on the Eastside Editorial Board are what truly make our paper so successful. The hard work and hours spent writing and drafting ideas for pitches truly spill over into each issue produced. 

I cannot count the amount of times I have been texting on the leadership group chat with Abby, Landon, Claire, Dino, and Laav (usually asleep by this hour) at midnight, cackling at my phone because we literally cannot stop talking. 

To my Eastside little sister, Stella, I am so proud of you and cannot wait to see what you do in your future. To Chloe, I am always so impressed by you and will miss bothering you– also stop hating on Margot Robbie please. I also have to shout out Amelia for being my biggest supporter during the crossword, and Jatlas, Maya and Zorn for always keeping me entertained. 

I cannot thank you all enough for being such an expressive, supportive group of people. I still would never go out of my way to encourage you to attend an East football game (sorry to those that might offend), but I certainly will always go out of my way to encourage you to explore the different opportunities that Eastside has to offer, because there may be articles and interviews that change the way you think and look at our world today.

Most people have a lucky number. I have a lucky letter instead. My lucky letter is A. Everyone in my family starts with the letter A: Abby, Amy and Andrew. Well, except for Seth (sorry Dad!). It also is the start of the alphabet, marking the beginning for all letters to come. 

The letter A marked the beginning of my school day every year since sophomore year. It was the first block of the day and the period when I had Eastside. I could always count on Eastside, each year, for being a steady and comfortable place to return to when the school year inevitably began again. 

Sophomore year when I walked into F087, I didn’t know it at the time but that room became a home within East. I was excited to see the behind the scenes work that went into the website and monthly issues. I also met the talented and passionate members of Eastside that were behind each article. Everyone on the board contributed to my growth as a writer and person. I became more confident in my interviewing skills, leading me to work on the committee reporting on the East Athletic Hall of Fame. This experience sophomore year was so special that I continued to cover the event for the next two years. 

When homerooms were introduced to the schedule in junior year, Eastside was no longer a place where I went just during A block, it was the room where I spent both of my lunch breaks. Our board bonding mafia games during lunch never had a dull moment. It’s a good thing no one took it too seriously.

As a senior, I get sad thinking of a time when I will not be in F087 hanging out with my friends, brainstorming editorial ideas or just laying out a page for the next issue. I will always remember the times in Boston, Philadelphia and Nashville at the national journalism conventions. From almost getting hit by a truck going to Dunkin in Boston to watching endless Derry Girls episodes in Nashville, the conventions gave me memories I will forever cherish. Eastside has brought me some of my closest friends and for it, I am immensely grateful. 

To all future Eastside editors, enjoy the moment and your time in F087. I know it’s cliche but the time will truly pass quickly and one day, before you know it, you will be in F087 working on your final issue.

My lucky letter did not fail me in high school. Thank you to everyone that made my three years in A block so special.  

There’s still so much I want to do for Eastside. 

I wish I could get just one more year of rearranging widgets on the website, writing another restaurant review, walking among the crowds of people at the JEA/NSPA convention or interacting with all the amazing people in F087. Alas, my journey is over, but I remain eternally grateful for everything that Eastside has done for me. 

I joined Eastside as a junior, taking Journalism 1 as a sophomore. I started that class with no intention of doing anything more; I actually took it as an A-level course in the first few weeks of school. Yet, slowly I grew to love the prospect of writing for a newspaper. Once I moved up to Journalism 1H, I wrote stories for STEM because I loved to compile research and synthesize it in my own way. My first story was an over 1,000-word article on the genesis of AI art (sorry Muskaan!). Then, I started taking community stories from Laav. My family and I are big foodies and go to restaurants regularly, so when I happened upon a story idea for a new pizza place opening nearby, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. As a staff writer, I quickly learned that Eastside let me naturally explore what I loved doing already, molding me into a better version of myself. 

This only became more apparent when I was an Online Community editor last year. Some of my favorite stories came from trying what I would’ve never done as a shy freshman still wearing a face mask– especially by conducting interviews. I’ve learned what it takes to make maple syrup by talking with the director of a local maple syrup program, heard the cultural inspiration behind a restaurant’s recipes from its owner, and discussed politics with Republican candidates that ran for town council. As a bonus, I discovered ways to flex my design muscles through the website with the help of Danny, Katie, Amelia and Athira. 

Lastly, topping it all off was this tremendous year as Online EIC. Achieving Online Pacemaker finalist, Online Excellence at the GSSPA convention and all those SNO badges are momentous highlights for me. Logging onto SNO to manage the website has become an essential part of my daily routine for almost two years straight and it’s hard to exactly quantify just how much joy it gives me. 

The accolades are great but, if I can be cliché for a moment, the people I’ve met on board are what made my time here so unlike anything I’ve ever done. 

I never had a boring day when I talked with my co-EICs. From meeting together at Starbucks in the summer to talking incessantly (and perhaps excessively) in our group chat, Claire, Landon, Laav, Gabby and Abby never failed to make me smile just a little bit more. I will cherish the moments we had together as a group for a while and I’m forever grateful that I got to meet such incredible writers and friends. 

I garnered two lifelong friends in Kaylee and Muskaan. Thank you guys for dealing with my often unnecessary negativity during an academically stressful week, for making me laugh and for making Eastside a place where I felt I could belong. Maybe we can get that podcast posted sometime soon…?

Athira, your artistic vision made my ideas come to life in ways that always surprised me. Your creative mastery gave me the inspiration I needed to make better designs. Elias, I forgive you, Landon, Melanie and Nico for interrupting my sleep that one day during the convention while you guys practiced for quiz bowl. To all of next year’s leadership, you are all amazing writers that have already made an impressive impact. I can’t wait to hear about your imminent success next year. 

I want to thank everyone on board, including Gagz for all his guidance and our shared hatred for Olive Garden, for being truly awesome and instrumental to Eastside Online’s success this year. I know for certain that Eastside’s future shines bright because of the entire editorial board.   

Writing is something I’ve held close to my heart ever since I was in fourth grade concocting cheeky jokes for Fun Friday. It’s something I’m still perfecting; something that will never be perfect. That’s why I love it. Eastside has let me realize my passion for crafting stories. Even though I won’t have the luxury of being in F087 next year, I’m excited to bring all the lessons I’ve learned from my time on board to other publications and into my life at large. There’s no mistaking that my writer-side will never leave me. 

From every part of my being, I sincerely mean it when I say:

Thank you Eastside. Grazie per tutto.

When I was 11 years old, I stayed in a hotel with my family during a business trip for my mom, but I unfortunately had the flu. I had no choice but to stay in our suite while my dad and sister explored Chicago and my mom conversed with her coworkers. While on the bed channel surfing, I came across a scene of a woman strutting into her office holding fashion magazines and sending fear down the spines of her employees. She sat down at her desk and I learned she was no other than Miranda Priestly, and this was the “Devil Wears Prada.” I sat up from my bedside and invested my full attention to the film. Upon learning Andy was a Northwestern graduate with a journalism degree now working at a magazine, I knew exactly what my future held in store for me.

Now of course, it wasn’t one movie that made me realize I wanted to pursue journalism, but seeing that NYC journalist life definitely helped. My sister was a freshman at East at this time and enrolled in Journalism 1H, coming home every day with a fun story to tell my mom. Having listened to what she said every day until eighth grade, I eagerly put my request in for Journalism 1H to get the same experience.

As I entered F087 for the first time my freshman year, I had no idea how much of my high school career would be spent in that room. I went from anxiously stepping into the room to intuitively going there every time the bell rang for lunch. Journeying through high school as a once shy journalist, the guidance of the Eastside board and Mr. Gagliardi allowed me to blossom into an editor unafraid to ask questions or write a story that piques my interest. 

My experience being an online community and culture editor has given me the chance to learn so much about what goes on in our county, in the pop culture world, and even within East. I’ve expanded my horizons with the stories I take, having written for every section throughout my time. Some of my favorite stories that I’ve written include talk show hosts facing censorship for global, my experience with the word whitewashed for opinions, and exploring mental health apps for stem; three sections I never wrote for prior to my senior year. 

This past year being an Online EIC has been one of the most rewarding experiences on board. I’ve loved getting to know all the editors, helping them, guiding them. I’ve gained leadership skills and friendships I hope to keep. To Dino, thank you for always respecting my opinions, listening to my input, and trusting me as your co-EIC. Our collaboration and dedication to making Eastside Online what it is has been one of the best experiences of my senior year. 

I will especially cherish the bond leadership had this year. Being the early sleeper I am, I always look forward to reading the 2 am messages from Gabby, Abby, Landon, Claire and Dino in our group chat. I’ve loved being a part of this group and I will definitely miss our dynamic as I enter the next stage of my life. 

To the next set of EICs and editors, enjoy your time on Eastside. It’s taxing, time-consuming but  all worth it. I have many thanks to hand out, starting with “The Devil Wears Prada” for setting me up on the journalism path. Thank you to Eastside for being the paper that it is, thank you to Julia for always dealing with me during class and lunch, thank you to F087 for being a home to me during the LBs and school, and thank you to the editorial board for trusting me as your Online EIC this year.