Biweekly entertainment update

Holly Madison on DWTS:The new season of Dancing with the Stars on ABC has not yet shown a single episode, and there are already reports of two contestants leaving the show due to injuries. One of those contestants will be replaced by Holly Madison, an ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and a star on the show The Girls Next Door. Sources speculate that ABC is trying to get Holly on the show as a platform for getting Bridget and Kendra, Hefner’s two other ex-girlfriends and co-stars on the show, as well. Some even believe that the show is bribing the professional dancers to injure their partners on purpose, just so they can be replaced by Hefner’s exes. One anonymous source says that ABC is trying to create a new reality show that will combine dancing, dating and Playboy, all in one hour of television.
The Bachelor:

Following the surprising twist ending of the most recent season of the Bachelor, ABC has decided to throw viewers another curve ball. Instead of having people try to find love on the show, animals will now compete for the final rose, the ring and true love. A statement from ABC executives said, “We think that animals deserve to be shown in the spotlight, after all, they desire love as well – scientists have proven it.” The network has yet to state whether the new spinoff series, “Mammal Mates,” will feature multiple species of animals, or simply one species every season. Various entertainment outlets and magazines have referred to the show as “inspirational,” and “an astonishing, heart wrenching show that will evoke great pathos from viewers.”
Twilight at the Oscars:

At the Academy Awards on Sunday February, 22 2009, all eyes were on the celebrities and their outfits, yet things changed when one person showed up on the red carpet. “It happened so suddenly,” one attendee said, “I couldn’t believe my eyes, I just about nearly fainted.” It seems that upon his arrival, Twilight-star Robert Pattinson created chaos on the red carpet. Photographers, journalists and TV hosts flocked over to Pattinson, whose hair drew crowds in the streets surrounding the Kodak Theater, where the awards ceremony was held. Even inside the theater during the show, Pattinson’s newfound posse remained devoted to him, shouting out his name during commercial breaks and showing off their faux vampire fangs. Several high profile celebrities were reported to have felt angry at first over the attention given to Pattinson, but then overwhelmed when they stared into his vampire-like eyes. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences even let Pattinson present an award, a move that risked the stability of the space time continuum of our universe, seeing as Robert Pattinson’s jaw line has the ability to manipulate the laws of physics. Scientists have begun asking Pattinson to help them stop world hunger, as well.