If someone asks you to refer to them with “they/them/theirs” pronouns, it is your basic duty as a human to respect and follow their request. The same applies to “he/him/his,” “she/her/hers,” neopronouns used by some non-binary people such as “ze/zir/zirs,” or any other set of pronouns.
If that idea makes you at all uncomfortable, or you’re wondering why it’s so important, I urge you to keep reading.
When I started putting ideas on paper for the introduction of this column, I initially was going to write about how this week’s topic — respecting people’s preferred pronouns — is important “in the twenty-first century.” I quickly realized, however, that to do so would be to undersell the long-established history of non-binary and transgender identities. Historically, evidence of societies accepting non-binary and transgender people dates all the way back as far as 7,000 years ago. Today, this acceptance remains as important as ever — and calling people by their preferred pronouns is one of the most important ways to practice it.
Research has discovered that the proper use of pronouns has a profound effect on LGBTQ+ children’s well-being. In 2021, The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ+ rights advocacy organization, found that the appropriate use of pronouns by all of a child’s family members reduced their risk of suicide by half. As with anything that significantly impacts a person’s likelihood to survive, this conclusion clearly emphasizes how critical it is that all people respect each other’s pronouns.
For many genderqueer and gender-nonconforming people, the proper use of their pronouns is an important part of affirming their identity. Other factors concurrently impact this affirmation, such as the proper use of a person’s chosen name and everyone’s care to cultivate welcoming environments throughout their communities.
Everyone deserves to feel like they belong in their community and that their identity is valid. In order to ensure this, it is our responsibility to help through respect and kindness. The next time you encounter someone, be sure to ask what pronouns they prefer — and to use them! If you ever mess up, be sure to correct yourself and briefly apologize. It is okay to make mistakes, but it is not okay to ignore others’ preferences. By taking these simple steps together, we can create a world in which everyone feels free to be themselves — furthering the establishment of liberty and justice for all.