A painter (guest star Breckin Meyer) is hired to paint a lifelike portrait of a woman. He is exceptionally proud of his work, yet the woman’s husband is furious with him for not making the image realistic. The artist maintains it his the best work he’s ever done. Viewers are finally shown what the painting looks like, and the portrait is not realistic at all, but completely distorted. Somebody call a doctor.

We learn House’s new best friend, the private investigator, is named Lucas Douglas. House is still trying to get the hospital to pay for his services, which he is wisely utilizing to run background checks on his team.

After verifying it is not a drug problem that is causing the delusions, House tells his team it must be a drug problem. Naturally, they are all confused. But, as always, House is right. The painter has subjected himself to three clinical drug trials at the same time. One of the drugs, or possibly all three, is causing this side effect and it is House and his team’s responsibility to determine what the underlying cause is.

Everyone’s new favorite P.I. has a major crush on Cuddy. He tries to allure her to him by telling her that he can get her some dirt on House to use as leverage in the future. He comes up with a photograph of House back in the good ol’ days as a cheerleader. Cuddy doesn’t believe it’s true and is convinced the photo has been doctored.

In the end, a last-minute discovery by the team solves the case and the patient is found to be fit as a fiddle after treatment. Lucas is in House’s home playing piano when House returns. House picks up a guitar and they have a jam session. It is revealed that the photograph of House as a cheerleader was, indeed, real.

House as a cheerleader? Ha-ha funny. But, sadly, that was about the only funny part of the episode. And, even more unfortunately, it wasn’t even a laugh-out-loud moment. Lucas’ awkwardness, especially around Cuddy, brought smiles, but no actual laughs, making this episode quite monotonous. A viewer could have been washing the dishes, checking their child’s spelling homework and coming up with a potential shopping list and still could have followed all the events of the episode.

I just feel like, with Wilson gone, all of the “House” magic we’ve come to love has vanished. Still, I am hopeful for the new episode in two weeks where House’s father dies and Wilson returns to pay his respects. Three words: House, Wilson, road trip. What more do writers need to make comedy gems?

Rating: C+
A+: Episode is nearly perfect. It doesn’t get any better then this
A, A-: Excellent Episode with only minor flaws or imperfections, a must-watch episode for anyone who enjoys TV
B+, B: Good but not great episode, has flaws in a few key areas but still a great television experience
B-, C+, C: Enjoyable show that has some obvious flaws, but has certain aspects that make it a decent show
C-, D+, D: Episode with more weaknesses than strengths, barely watchable. But, worth a look if one is a fan of the genre
F: Episodes receiving this grade are not worth the time. These have numerous shortcomings and flaws. Minimal to zero entertainment value