Have you ever fallen in love?

When I asked this question, I braced myself for blunt answers, of a simple “yes” or “no.” What I received was far more vulnerable and hopeful than I could imagine.

As one person said, “You lose track of everything—time, space. It’s a time to share, time to give, time for memories to be created and for moments that you can never get back. That’s what love feels like.”

I found him scribbling down notes in the cafe at Barnes and Noble. When I asked if he had ever fallen in love, his response was one that I had never heard before. Love, what I had thought of as a purely romantic feeling, not able to be logically explained because it was so unplanned in its course and its path, was broken down into scientific terms by him.

“I have experienced the neurochemicals that one would associate with the feeling of butterflies, and that which one would describe as love, yes,” he said.

When I prodded for more, he responded, “He went to my high school. We were both in the same math class. I saw him one day and experienced all of the stereotypical symptoms that one would get when they are experiencing romantic attraction…Nothing ever happened. He doesn’t know I exist. 100% does not know I exist,” he responded.

“There was a time when I had just gotten out of the shower and looked at my body and thought that if I had reduced a bit more of my studying I would have had more time in the gym and that would have been more desirable for a future partner,” he finished. – 26, male

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“I’m married, with my now husband… My biggest regret was not going to college right after I graduated high school. I was a young mom, so I went to a trade school to become a medical assistant. I got pregnant at 13 and had him at 14. I had no choice but to finish school and go to work right after. I had to right after high school go to a program that didn’t take too long, nine months, because I had another mouth to feed.” – 39, female

“In high school, I felt like I was in love. Although we were fun and very loving, we were too young and we definitely got too jealous. We were just being young and didn’t know anything else.” – 22, female

“In love? Yes. When I met my boyfriend at 18, I was living with my parents. I felt like someone finally understood me. I confused love with my personal needs. After that, I broke up and realized that I wasn’t in love. I found love in my first child. When I saw his face, it was like…eye opening. I felt warm, all these bright colors…I felt happy.” – 40, female

“We met on Instagram…I commented on one of his stories about In-N-Out burgers in California, and that’s how we started talking…everything was through text. We were at a stage in life where, speaking for myself, I was more concerned with my career. I denied two of his dates. The third one, he said, ‘This is the last time I’m inviting you.’ We decided to go to Atlantic City…Once we saw each other, we got butterflies. The first date lasted for hours… and this December we got engaged.” – 34, female

“I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple years. So we met right as the pandemic was starting, and we spent a lot of time alone together in close quarters, and I quickly realized we shared a lot of interests. It was definitely meant to last.” – 30, male

“What happened? Um…I was in college, and I met someone really special and kind. We went through some things. I almost died; she had some family problems. That really just put us closer together. We got to see who we really were, and we got to fall in love that way. You get all that?” – 25, male