Secret Rock Band meeting in school bathroom

Kobi Malamud ('12)/Eastside Staff

Over the past month, several groups of students have been sneaking off from class to secretly play Rock Band in the East bathrooms.  

This daily ritual, which went unnoticed for quite some time, first caught the attention of Mr. Alvaro Lomas, a Spanish teacher at East, when he was on hall-monitor duty.  “I was just sitting in my rolly-chair enjoying the surprisingly tranquil hallways and my bologna and cheese sandwich when I suddenly heard what sounded like heavy metal music,” he said. “My first assumption was the cafeteria employees were jammin’ out to some hard-core Metallica or something, but as I kept walking I was certain that the music was, in fact, coming from the first floor B-wing bathroom.”

He went on to say that upon opening the bathroom door, “the music suddenly came to a halt and there were strangely no students to be found.” This was not the only instance when a teacher has noticed something suspicious about school activity.  

“From the minute I got to class to the minute the period ended, my students were begging me for the bathroom pass.” said Mrs. Kathy Yohann-Jenson, a math teacher at East, “This has been going on for weeks. I don’t understand why they all need to go so constantly.”

The scandal was finally brought to light last week when one student accidentally slipped up and asked his gym teacher, Mr. Shakur, if he could go play Rock Band instead of asking for a bathroom pass.  The teacher immediately rushed him down to grade-level where he was pressured into ultimately letting out the secret.  The student, who for his personal safety from the other students asked to be unnamed, gave some details on the whole scheme.

 “Everyday before school, my friends and I love to listen to our loud, head-banging, hair-raising rock music. But when class starts, the teachers lurk around the hallways threatening to take our ipods,” he said. “Naturally, we’re forced to put them away.”

According to the student, him and his friends felt that the school’s rule that iPods and MP3 players are not allowed to be used during the school day is unjust, so they decided to form a secret club “where [they] could play video games and listen to all [their] favorite music all the time on Rock Band.”

These rock fueled students devised a scheme in which they would ask for bathroom passes, play at least one song each on a portable TV equipped with an Xbox 360 and guitar controllers and quickly stash the equipment in one stall and hide in another whenever someone walked in.  

As of now the school has given each of the troublesome students several detentions and confiscated all the Rock Band sets stashed in the bathroom stalls.  In addition, the teachers and staff have been conjuring up ways to help prevent further incidents from occurring.  One idea suggested by the teachers was to install spy cameras in all of the restrooms.  However, this idea was quickly shot down by the school board due to the obvious lack of privacy-evasion.

For the time being, the board will continue voting on new ideas while the students remain under tight watch.