Manuary Officially Returns (print story follow-up)

Kobi Malamud ('12)/Eastside Radio Manager

It is now official: Manuary is coming back.  After diehard follower Magnus von Steelson began an intense moment to override the government’s abolition of his favorite holiday, government officials began to take notice.  Collecting over 20 million signatures after being moved to the internet, Steelson’s petition could no longer be ignored by congressmen.

The last straw finally came after weeks of vicious protesting, when in Los
Angeles, a group of men attacked a trucker, stealing 200 pounds of frozen meat and later dispersing it throughout the city’s streets and alleyways, allegedly trying to send a message about their intense anger.  Outraged about the incident, the governor of California immediately called the president, demanding for something to be done.

Soon, during another emergency meeting of congress, various congressmen announced they would be dropping their support from the abolition of Manuary law, including members of the executive cabinet and the president himself.  Like clockwork, congress then came to a quick and almost unanimous vote, overturning the law and bringing back the banned holiday.

As for now, analysts are predicting that next year’s Manuary will be bigger than ever, as its fans and followers are ecstatic about the return of their annual festival, celebrating everything manly, tough, and beard-related.