Dan’s hair wasn’t curly until eighth grade; one morning he woke up and blam.

Dan has taken a rock to the skull, knife to the leg and SAT prep courses.

He doesn’t eat most meat because he feels that he couldn’t bring himself to kill most animals, and paying other people to do what you wouldn’t do yourself is a very simple way of being a very simple person.

If at all possible, recite carefully prepared complaint letters to him in person while standing on one foot, and allow him to recite on-the-spot responses to you while doing the same.

Dan loves many people and many things.