On October 13, Johnson’s Farm unveiled this year’s highly anticipated Corn Maze, advertised as being more challenging than ever. After paying a small admission fee of $77, each individual took, on average, one to two hours to find their way through the twisting maze, complete with 12-foot-high corn stalks on either side. Three seven-year-old boys, Roger Squirral, Peter Goggal and Louie Scrizzball, were admitted into the maze together around 2:00 PM, before disappearing for 72 hours.

When the maze closed at 6:00 p.m., Attendant Phillip Yorgast didn’t bother to check the list of maze-goers. He closed and locked the gate and went home to his wife. The three boys remained inside, unable to find the exit.

Texas Instruments has just released a prototype for its latest addition to the TI series of graphing calculators. The TI-97 will be available in stores on September 7, and comes equipped with more bells and whistles than the company could fit in the 978-page instruction manual. For a comprehensive description of the calculator’s capabilities, users must reference the 3-volume instructional VHS which runs about 11.5 hours long, and is also available in Beta-max format.

A few features of the TI-97 include 4-D and 5-D graphing abilities; full-color touch screen; biometric user identification; light up keypad; padded leather carrying case with key, combination lock, and security alarm; military database; world clock; day-planner; GPS tracking-device; and the snake game.

Starting this September, East will be implementing a new policy requiring all students to carry backpacks. Due to the increased usage of tote bags and messenger bags, there has been a dramatic increase in scoliosis cases among students, which has aroused concern among parents and faculty members who advocate the policy.

According to the National Scoliosis Foundation, scoliosis, the condition of sideways curvature of the spine, affects two to three percent of the population, or roughly 6 million people in the United States.

“The primary onset age for scoliosis is from 10 to 15,” says Dr. Bert Vertabrake of the American Chiropractic Association, “so high school and middle school students are extremely vulnerable.”

The ABC network has recently unveiled plans for a new show, Dancing with the Czars, to be aired in October. The show is to be a spin-off of the network’s earlier success, Dancing with the Stars.

“With the popularity of Dancing with the Stars,” said ABC spokesman Alex Roman in a press conference on Tuesday, “it was only a matter of time before we had to make another show. I mean, who doesn’t just love watching people spin around for an hour and a half? We just combined the excitement of ballroom dancing with the raw executive power of the Russian czars, and bang! Dancing with the Czars was born!”

The Soviet rock band Gorky Park is suing ABC for copyright infringement as a result of Roman’s use of the word “bang,” claiming that it is identical to the title of their hit song, “Bang.”