The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 3, Episode 18

Ilana Schwartzberg ('14)/Eastside Staff

In this episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, the clan spends their last days in Punta Cana. After Teresa and Joe leave the beach and go to the hut to get changed. Albie, Chris and Greg wondered where Teresa went so Greg jokingly said, “If we shine some light some gold will reflect off of Teresa’s bikini.”  This bathingsuit was at least Teresa’s third outfit of the day, and the shiniest too.

Later, everyone goes to the beach to enjoy a “Traditional Dominican Meal,” which was not a big hit for some. Rich, Kathy’s husband, made his point clear when he said, “I didn’t come on this vacation to eat porridge.”

After this award-winning dinner, most of the group went to another restaurant to hang out. Surprisingly, Joe Giudice was in a great mood and started to play around with Joe Gorga just like they use to. Even Joe Gorga said, “It reminded me of the good old days.”

While they were at the restaurant, Teresa got very emotional and had a moment with her brother, Joe Gorga. She apologized for everything and they both came to an agreement to move and forget about the past. Teresa actually said to her brother, “I’m happy to be here with you.” During this rare touching moment, the whole crowd started shouting and getting excited that they did not have to put up with the bickering between the two anymore.

With the anticipation of a new day, all of the gals, including Greg of course, went to a “market” somewhat close to the hotel. What they did not know was that this was not a shopping trip; this was a food market where all of the locals would go to purchase their foods. Teresa set up this little trip to the market to seek new ingredients and spices to build new recipes and explore the local’s culture. However, at the food market, the housewives got a glance of some heads of animals that were being sold. This scene was definitely not very pretty, as Melissa screamed, “The Gucci’s are stepping on blood,” repeatedly for a minute or two. Even Lauren pitched in her two cents by saying exclaiming “Everyone’s looking at us all like we have five heads.”

While the gals were out “shopping,” the guys went golfing. Albert, the professional golfer that he is, had the pleasure of making fun of the others while they attempted to golf. Joe Giudice was the worst when it took him three swings to actually get the golf ball off of the tee.

The Jersians all met back at the hotel for their last dinner in Punta Cana. The crew had plans to eat a Hibachi restaurant that night but of course practically everyone was late. One would think that Teresa caused the holdup, but, surprisingly enough, Kathy was the one to blame. She claimed that she had some stomach issue, but then stated that Teresa’s verbal attack at the beach earlier affected the state of Kathy’s entire body.

To spice things up a bit during dinner, Caroline, Chris, Albie and Greg made up a contest called “The Punta Princess.” First, Teresa won for style for wearing a black hat, which Chris said worked with the Hard Rock theme—the name of the hotel that they were staying at. While Kathy won for most creative for beautiful rings, Melissa won for having the most individual intellect after answering the question of who our Vice President currently is. Teresa tried to answer by cluelessy screaming out “Oh, Clinton.”

Then, Melissa said, “That white guy with the gray hair? Yeah! Dick Cheney,” which clearly demonstrates the housewives’ profound knowledge of American history.

When the Housewives and their families get back to New Jersey, Melissa starts getting ready for her performance as she takes lessons at the Broadway Dance Center in New York City. Chris and Albie had wanted Melissa to perform at their launch party. And surprisingly, Melissa’s performance was fantastic.

On a final note, Kathy and Teresa finally settle their dispute from the vacation—Teresa believed that Kathy accused her of not spending enough time with her children. With all of this set aside the wives are all in good terms for once. It will be interesting to see what drama these gals bring in next week’s episode.

8/10