I have never felt physically nauseous after listening to music. Granted, I am a harsh critic and I’ve listened to some horrible music, but I never thought there could be any music that could make me sick to my stomach, until now.
Disney-pop band Allstar Weekend, with all their boyband glory, had me questioning my faith in music and humanity with their new album, Suddenly Yours. This auto-tuned, whiny, and just awful collection of clichéd songs written by corporations to inspire love from the target audience, teenage girls, belongs either in the garbage bin or blasting through the speakers at Radio Disney. The four member “band” consists of the “attractive” teenage boys young girls go crazy for. But in reality, the lead singer is a 22-year-old who sounds as if he depends on auto-tune to fix his pitchy and whiney voice, as well as three other “band members” who also sound as if they don’t play their instruments on the recorded tracks. It is as if the drums, guitar and bass are all done by regular studio musicians.
Even if these horrible qualities can be chalked up to being a characteristic of the genre, AllStar Weekend, unlike other bands on the Disney-pop-rock genre, has no rhythm, the singing is overproduced and still clunky, and random techno beats are thrown in throughout songs. In addition, the lyrics usually don’t make much sense. Take the song “Here With You,” for example, where the singer says that a girl is his “favorite season” in a poor effort to find a rhyme for the word reason, and where the singer says “you’re taped to my wall like you’re glued in my brain”.
AllStar Weekend’s Suddenly Yours should not be called music. The singer whines out nonsensical lyrics, and the music is produced from a collection of random techno beats and other musicians hired to play the parts for teenagers. Nevertheless, preteen girls will go absolutely insane for this collection of “dreamy” boy band teens.
½ stars out of 5
Amihan Quiray • Dec 7, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Yeah, it sounds like your saying ‘I hate the music, but the singer sings in tune, and the instrumentals are really good. But I think the bands terrible, so he must be auto-tuned, and they got someone else to play.’ Seriosly? You hate the music so much you have to make up excuses for why it sounds good?
Jaden Garmiaz • Dec 6, 2010 at 3:06 pm
You hate the music. I get that. I won’t comment on the music, but this review contains two major inaccuracies that can’t go unaddressed: First, the band members write most of their own songs – they’re not “written by corporations”. (This can be verified by a cursory glance at the lyric credits.) Second, the assertion that the band members do not play their own instruments for the album is completely unfounded (and borders on libel, but that’s beside the point.) Factually, union and label requirements would rule this out, since they are credited with the parts in the official release. Talent-wise, look up a video of them performing live if you’re in any doubt that they can play well enough.